Day 88: One step forward, two back

168:30 - 170:21

Today's pages continue discussing physical symptoms versus spiritual harmony. This passage uses the word chemicalization which is a Christian Science term. Mary Baker Eddy defines it as:

the process which moral mind and and body undergo in the change of belief from a material to a spiritual basis.

I've heard variations of this definition used by other CSers. Some of the definitions sound a little froo-froo and some are completely off-base so it's important to note where the definition is that MBE used.

The first line I marked:

If we understood the control of Mind over the body, we should put no faith in material means. 

And then,

Only the action of Truth, Life, and Love can give harmony.

I've noticed in my own thinking that my understanding of the CS concepts I'm working on day by day tend to be a little too analytical. If I think a certain way, I will have a certain outcome. The change is more superficial than I want and I recognize it as a thought-system and not true Christian Science.

It's hard to watch my thinking, listen for spiritual insights, and tend to my daily duties. I'm not complaining, more explaining why my growth seems slow and, at times, stagnant. I want the easy answer. I would prefer to have a superficial ceremony, repeat a prayer, thank God and be changed. But that's not going to happen. And as an alternative short cut, I'm looking for a CS-ish system. Oddly, that puts mortal mind back in the driver's seat which is what I'm trying to rise above.

So in a lot of ways, I feel like I'm back to square one. I need to pour in more love.