Day 171: The Platform and Soul

334:31-336:31

Today's part of the platform covers man and God in the sense that is God in man or man in God. While I usually have a firm grasp on my belief regarding Soul, this sentence caught me unaware:

Only by losing the false sense of Soul can we gain the eternal unfolding of Life as immortality brought to light. 

I've been asking myself what false sense of Soul I have and why? This leads me to think that Soul is really about a connection without the material that is upheld by other religions. It could almost be considered part of American conversation and culture: soul is in the body. It doesn't hold for every religion or people in American but it is common enough to be used in popular entertainment (movies, t.v., books) without much explanation of what the idea is -- it is just assumed the viewer knows.

Day 170: The Platform, Jesus, and the Christ

332:9-334:30

Today is the second day of the platform at the end of this chapter. While I was reading it, I realized this was a great summary of the theology of Christian Science, particularly how CSers view Mary, Jesus, and use the term Christ.

I marked the section about Mary because I felt, as a mom, I also need to mentally conceive of my children spiritually. Yes, they are already born, but I want to continue to keep them in my thought spiritually and recognize their true origin from God.

Day 169: The Platform

330:8-332:8

Today's reading starts the enumeration of The Platform. I don't know what else to call it. I've tagged it as MBE Listy which will include other lists Mary Baker Eddy sets aside. If I've missed one, please comment on it and I'm make sure that day's entry also has the tag.

The two things in today's reading that stood out to me were:

Neither God nor the perfect man can be discerned by the material senses.

And

Everything in God's universe expresses Him. 

These two might seem contradictory but they reinforce, at least for me, the difference between the material and the spiritual and where I need to focus.

Day 168: Oh, the horror

328:4-330:7

Every once in a while, I read a section and I think I see some humor in Mary Baker Eddy's writings. Or perhaps sarcasm. I wonder what kind of people she dealt with to come up with:

Until one is able to prevent bad results, he should avoid their occasion. 

I say something along those lines to my children several times a day. Of course, I also have to give them the pep talk about not giving up:

To be discouraged, is to resemble a pupil in addition, who attempts to solve a problem of Euclid, and denies the rule of the problem because he fails in his first effort. 

 And then the real pep talk, the one I need:

A little understanding of Christian Science proves the truth of all that I say of it. 

Day 167:

326:3-328:3

Today's reading talked about how and why we change toward the spiritual. To me, the reading was really about self-will, although I don't think that was stated. Mary Baker Eddy discusses moral courage, following Christ, and yielding to a spiritual sense. But still, to me, my self-will is my biggest obstacle.

Several lines I underlined:

What a pitiful sight is malice, finding please in revenge!

And

Fear of punishment never made man truly honest. Moral courage is requisite to meet the wrong and so proclaim the right. 

I've read S&H a gazillions times and the first quote about revenge - well - I didn't even remember it. I don't think it is used much in the weekly lesson and I can't remember it used in a testimony or article in the Sentinel.

And the second one reminded me of a TED talk I watched recently. He mentions how a law enforcement punishment technique didn't deter a crime but something else much kinder did.

Day 166: A False Sense

324:7-326:2

The line that I marked was:

A false sense...conceals scientific demonstration.

What I liked about this idea was that even thought I thought a healing or demonstration wasn't happening, it was. I only had to remove the false sense, to see it.

Day 165: Progress

322:3-324:6

I'm beginning to get into the groove of how Mary Baker Eddy wrote. This reading is about spiritual progress: both what is required and then what the result will be. She has pages like this scattered throughout the book but when I first started reading, I didn't know they would reoccur from time to time.

In some ways, this reading is like a pep talk. "Look where you are going. Have you experienced this good result yet? Don't worry. You will."

A couple of lines caught my eye:

Beholding the infinite tasks of truth, we pause, -- wait on God.

And:

Truth is demonstrable when understood, and that good is not understood until demonstrated. 

I bolded the words that hit home for me.

As a side note, matters with boy child are going well. He is back to his lovely and loving self. I prayed and it worked.

Day 164: Word Smith

320:4-322:2

Today's reading covers literal versus figurative interpretations of the bible and how that applies to Christian Science. I marked Mary Baker Eddy's own interpretation of a passage in the bible:

The one important interpretation of Scripture is the spiritual. For example, the text, "In my flesh shall I see God," gives a profound idea of the divine power to heal the ills of the flesh, and encourages mortals to hope in Him who healeth all our diseases; whereas this passage is continually quoted as if Job intended to declare that even if disease andworms destroyed his body, yet in the latter days he should stand in celestial perfection before Elohim, still clad in material flesh,--an interpretation which is just the opposite of the true, as may be seen by studying the book of Job.

I don't have anything to add. I just like to see Mary Baker Eddy's interpretation.

Day 163: Word Usage

318:5-320:3

My challenge with my son has taken a slow and gentle turn. The situation isn't resolved but we both backed away from full-scale war. I'm praising him more and oddly, he is doing the same. He still has moments of complete lack of regard but since he is three and these are not every second of the day now, I can relent instead of rearm. God is talking to both off us.The idea that has been helpful is that there is nothing that can change him from his perfect reflection or interfere with the reflection.

The two sentences that caught me eye are:

We must silence this lie of material sense with the truth of spiritual sense. 

And:

Having faith in the divine Principle of health and spiritually understanding God, sustains man under all circumstances;

Further on in the reading, Mary Baker Eddy talks about language in the Bible. I thought it was an interesting page is discuss word choice and usage. In the above quotes, I either use the sentence for my own spiritual growth and not its intended meaning within the paragraph or, as in the second quote, I mentally change the words to fit my own situation. I changed "Principle of health" to be "Principle of mind and love".

Day 162: Individuality

316:12-318:4

I'm still working with, praying for, expecting a resolution to my current challenge with my son. It isn't materially resolved but I recognize that both he and I want to work through this lovingly and each in our own way. This section on individuality was great:

The individuality of man is no less tangible because it is spiritual and because his life is not at the mercy of matter. The understanding of his spiritual individuality makes man more real, more formidable in truth, and enables him to conquer sin, disease, and death. 

I got from this that we are each different, and that's OK. We don't have to all solve the same problems, the same way, in the same time frame. We are spiritual individuals.

Day 161: Turn from Sin

314:10-316:11

This morning in church, someone repeated an often-mentioned "myth" about my son. I've heard it so often that I expect to hear it but today, when I did, I immediately refuted it. The myth was based on the idea that my son would listen to God in "his own time" (perhaps a long time) to change his behavior and mature. I thought the underlying idea was that something, including my son's own self-will, could come between him and God and I immediately knew that was wrong. Then I knew I couldn't be separated from God either. It was a nice moment to have some clarity regarding this challenge.

The two things I marked were:

...we realize this likeness only when we subdue sin...

And:

...mortals need only turn from sin...

The word submissive (314:30) is used (as in 'submissive to death') but I thought about how I can be submissive to sin by letting my own suborn pride and self-will get in the way.

Day 160: Death and Jesus

312:1-314:9

Today's reading is about material death and the example of Jesus' death. There is something in these two pages, can't put my finger on it yet, that is different or new to me. Some glimpse of something unseen until now. This sentence summarizes it but doesn't really expound on it:

...death is the departure of a mortal's mind, not of matter.

I agree with th departure but where did the mind go? From a spiritual perspective, it is more a releasing than a departure?

I also marked:

That which material sense calls intangible, is found to be substance. 

Day 159: Self-destruction

310:1-311-32

The day was going to pot, just like yesterday, but I grabbed a few minutes reading the Sentinel. Twenty minutes. It made a difference.

Today's reading is about Soul in the body or loosing soul or whatever else people can think happens to it. I have more immediate concerns so that didn't stick with me.

The passages I marked are:

Sin is the element of self-destruction, and spiritual death is oblivion. 

And:

God is Mind: all that Mind, God, is, or hath made, is good, and He made all. 

Sin as self-destruction hit a note for me. I'll be thinking of that one for days.

Day 158: Unsettled

307:31-309:32

I read the entire section twice and all I could think of was:

...mortal belief will be afraid...

I'm having a terrible day. I hope yours is better.

Day 157: Identity cont'd

306:7-307:30

This is the item I marked in this reading. This is literally the hardest thing and yet, it's here in words and I know it and understand it. But the untruth of it is sometimes so overwhelming.

But man cannot be separated for an instant from God, if man reflects God. Thus Science proves man's existence to be intact. 

I'm going to focus on this today.

Day 156:

304:3-306:6

A bit of a tough day so this was what meant something to me:

Harmony is produced by its Principle, is controlled by it and abides with it. Divine Principle is the Life of man.

so if I use a little transitive property, can I say:

The Life of man produces Harmony, controls it and abides with it. 

 Sometimes Mary Baker Eddy gets garbled and I have to ungarble. Not sure if this is a good statement though.

Day 155: Identity

302:3-304:2

Today's reading was about identity. I don't think I realized before how Mary Baker Eddy is saying, in my opinion, that our identity, as we perceive our mortal individuality with body and mind, is the root of error. Maybe root of error is the wrong exact phrasing, but something like that. The beginning of the problem. The place to make the change.

This may seem a fairly obvious conclusion since it is reworked and reworded over and over in the book, however, saying it is the root of all evil (our seperateness from God), is different from saying our identity. Until now, because I finally got it. Duh!

I marked:

When the evidence before the material senses yielded to spiritual sense, the apostle declared that nothing could alienate him from God, from the sweet sense and presence of Life and Truth

So the word evidence (as in change the evidence) caught my eye. I still very much praying about my situation with my son and looking for ideas. I thought this was a nice way for MBE to give me a follow-up idea to work with.

Day 154: Transcendental reflection

300:9-302:2

Today was another reading that is driving me deeper into CS. The two ideas Mary Baker Eddy brings up are reflection and how this reflection appears transcendental to mortal sense. She says:

Few persons comprehend what Christian Science means by the word reflection.

While I understand conceptually what MBE means, I assume there is more to it than I currently understand. She does give some clues to her meaning:

God is revealed only in that which reflects Life, Truth, Love, -- yea, which manifests God's attributes and power, even as the human likeness thrown upon the mirror, repeats the color, form, and action of the person in front of the mirror. 

More thoughts, disjointed:

...the immortal, spiritual man...reflects the eternal substance

He reflects the divine...

This reflection seems to mortal sense transcendental, because the spiritual man's substantiality transcends mortal vision and is revealed only through divine Science. 

 A note about my current parenting challenge -- A Mother's Evening Prayer was sung in church today. Every line felt like a supporting hug and word of encouragement about how to see God, my child and my relationship. So while I'm still looking for ideas regarding "change the evidence," I'm also using this Hymn.

153: Angels

298:8-300:8

I've been thinking of "change the evidence," from yesterday, all day long. It's quite an idea. I'm not sure if it really means change the evidence or it means that once I change my thought, the material evidence will change. What do you think?

Today, I marked two different ideas. The first is a sort-of definition of spiritual sense:

Spiritual sense ... involves intuition, hope, faith, understanding, fruition, reality.

There are moments of such amazing clarity that I know the thoughts, during those times, are spiritual. In a sense, those moments are my spiritual sense. Of course, Mary Baker Eddy, summarizes what is involved very nicely above.

And the discussion of Angels:

Angels are pure thoughts from God...

My angels are exalted thoughts...

The most interesting thing about this is Mary Baker Eddy's choice of the first person usage "my." This is so rarely done in the book. It means more to me since she did personalize it for herself. Outside of the Preface, I'm not sure I remember anything like this. Do you?

I'm still churning with "change the evidence" though...

Day 152: Everything

296:4-298:7

I read today's pages and didn't expect to be blown away with ideas. Just one new idea to work with is, most days, enough. But, wow, today's reading will be with me for awhile. I marked it as a Read Again in the tags meaning it is something to come back to and use for any issue. There is probably a better word choice for the tag but for now, that's it.

Two sectioned I starred and turned down the page corner, my sign for super duper important:

Mortal belief is a liar from the beginning, not deserving power. It says to mortals, "You are wretched!" and they think they are so; and nothing can change this state, until the belief changes. Mortal belief says, "You are happy!" and mortals are so; and no circumstance can alter the situation, until the belief on this subject changes. Human belief says to mortals, "You are sick!" and this testimony manifests itself on the body as sickness. It is as necessary for a health-illusion, as for an illusion of sickness, to be instructed out of itself into the understanding of what constitutes health; for a change in either a health-belief or a belief in sickness affects the physical condition.

and:

Until belief becomes faith, and faith becomes spiritual understanding, human thought has little relation to the actual or the divine. 

The first one is a great reminder and wake up call to myself about what I need to be aware of. The second is my road map.

As I mentioned recently, I'm working through prayer about a behavioral situation with one of the kids. It's about control from a moral mind perspective and letting go and seeing his divine perfection from a spiritual perspective. So there were lots of tidbits I marked:

The death of a false material sense...is what reveals man...

Mortal belief must lose all satisfaction in error and sin...

...how long they will suffer the pangs of destruction...

Change the evidence...

The last one is the most interesting to me. Change the evidence. The word 'evidence' means whatever is evident is already there. So what is already there and how can I change it? This is the bones of my challenge. I couldn't have written it better.

Back to prayer...

Day 151: Mortal thought is made up of error

294:9-296:3

Today's reading has two ideas that I found helpful in dealing with the parenting challenge. The first is:

Man's genuine selfhood is recognizable only in what is good and true. Man is neither self-made nor made by mortals. God created Man.

And:

All that is called mortal thought is made up of error.

Combining these two, I have some ideas to work with when I loose my temper or the kids loose theirs. God made us.

Day 150: Bestial Ferocity

292:7-294:8

Today has been one of those days that weren't a lot of fun with my parental challenge and to top if off, I was a model of bestial ferocity. Not really want I was aiming for. So these two pages were a reminder of what I am and what I am not. The same goes for the kids, of course.

So let's start with a quote I strung together from two different paragraphs:

Matter and mortal mind are but different strata of human belief ... [and] are false representatives of man.  

and then

There is no vapid fury of mortal mind... 

I'm going to pray for some ideas based on this reading with the problem.

Day 149: Genuine Happiness

290:3-292:6

Today's reading is about how death does not save us from our challenges. There are some things in any religion you either just go with or you don't. Mary Baker Eddy's understanding of death is one of those things for me. Outside and beyond Christian Science, I've always had my own understanding of death and wasn't afraid of it. So when I gained a better sense of the CS version of death, I was glad it rang with my own feeling for that change.

That being said, that doesn't expedite the work I have to do on this side.

I underlined:

The suppositions that sin is pardoned while unforsaken, that happiness can be genuine in the midst of sin, that the so-called death of the body frees from sin, and that God's pardon is aught but the destruction of sin,--these are grave mistakes.

The part that stood out to me was genuine happiness in the midst of sin. That is something I need to work on.

Day 148: Superstition and Man

288:9-290:2

Today's reading has a lot of good stuff to chew on: the postulates, the wicked man, debris of error. But I'm going to focus on the first sentence:

Superstition and understanding can never mingle. 

Don't think of superstition as black cats and ladders. That's too obvious and not relevant. Superstition to me is blind belief, or worse, some thought of the material steps that need to be taken to heal a situation. X has to be done, in order for Y to occur.

My situation at home that I'm praying about has a lot of history of this kind of superstitious thought. It has changed over time, but still. So today, I'm going to try to listen to ideas and see the perfection all around. And not focus on the tapes of superstition that are running around in my thought, unwanted.

Day 147: War between truth and error

286:9-288:8

Before I begin: I talked to a friend at church this morning about a reoccurring situation here at home. She suggested I pray about it. Since this particular challenge feels like it may very well be the end of my parental patience, I will take her suggestion. Moving forward, I will look for ideas and inspiration to apply to this specific situation as well as general spiritual progress. So if something seems way off course, please know, I'm veering on purpose.

Of course, after having made the above point, I didn't think today's reading would have anything remotely related to the issue I'm dealing with but I was wrong.

Here is the paragraph I marked:

The suppositional warfare between truth and error is only the mental conflict between the evidence of the spiritual senses and the testimony of the material senses, and this warfare between the Spirit and flesh will settle all questions through faith in and the understanding of divine Love.

Warfare is a perfect term for the conflict I feel. And, just to be clear, I understand its all me. My thinking, my patience, my problem. Nothing is wrong with my kids. They are perfect just as God made them.

So I'm digging in for some faith in and understand of divine Love.

Day 146: How do we know God?

284:4-286:8

How do we know God? I don't mean how can we prove God's existence to someone else -- but how do we, or I, how do I know God is there? In today's reading, Mary Baker Eddy asks that question and then answers how we do not know God.

This is what I understood from the reading:

• We do not know God through the physical senses.
• We don't know God through blind belief (covered elsewhere but added to this list as relevant). 
• We don't tell/communicate with God/Mind via material body. 
• We don't wait till we are dead to know God. We know him now. 

We know God through a higher sense, from divine Principle, God. We know God through demonstration.

Day 145: Demonstrating the divine Principle

282:3-284:3

Here is what I underlined:

The divine Principle, or Life, can not be practically demonstrated in length of days, as it was by the patriarchs, unless its Science be accurately stated. We must receive the divine Principle in the understanding, and live it in daily life; and unless we so do, we can no more demonstrate Science, than we can teach and illustrate geometry by calling a curve a straight line or a straight line a sphere.

To demonstrate Science, in these two pages, is about understanding that Mind and matter don't mix. Ever.

Back in the beginning of the book, Mary Baker Eddy wrote about understanding and demonstrating Christian Science. The topic of understanding was dealt with as an opposite concept of blind belief. And then the idea was, as I read it, when I understand I rise above blind belief and can demonstrate CS.

OK. So I'm now at the point where I understand. It's a superficial understanding, not a deep, complete rewrite of my thoughts. So I have more work to do (obviously) but some of the early chapters are beginning to make sense in a new light.

Day 144:New Idea spilled

280:1-282:2

Today's reading, as well as the last couple, have taken me to the edge of my CS beliefs. I grew up in Christian Science but in so many ways understand it only in bits and pieces. It's such a personal journey. No one starts at the same place and everyone hopes to end up at the end of the spiritual journey but is there an end? Will we all recognize the same thing as the end mark versus the way mark?

That's what I've been thinking lately -- that what I thought was CS and what is CS are probably not the same. I can read the books and periodicals, attend church, (and even Prin) and yet not get the full meaning because I'm not ready to turn away from the material senses. But the last couple of days I've seen a glimmer of something else. There is some thing more under there that I didn't see before.

I wish class instruction wasn't two weeks but was this journal, 2 pages every day for a year, instead. Sure, I slog it out on my own grasping for meaning (literal versus figurative) and want to be obedient (to myself and TMC). But I need guidance. Someone to say when to look further and when to stop and stay a while with an idea. But even a teacher, someone more than a practitioner -- would I listen?

I underlined the following:

But behold the zeal of belief to establish the opposite error of many minds.

The old belief must be cast or the new idea will be spilled, and the inspiration, which was to change our standpoint, will be lost.

I don't want the zeal, I want the new idea. I don't want to spill it.

Day 143:Ideas are tangible and real

 278:1-279:32

Today, my spiritual growth seems to be challenged by my current situation. I know this is a matter of elevating my thought, but still, it is a challenge.

Today's reading talks about matter and spirit and which is real and which is not. That's suitable as most of my day I wonder [1] what is real and/or [2] what is real.

The first thing I underlined I broke into two different ideas, so marked:

[1] Spirit is the only substance and consciousness recognized by divine Science. The material senses oppose this, but there are no material senses, for matter has no mind. [2] In Spirit there is no matter, even as in Truth there is no error, and in good no evil. 

So no matter. Got the philosophical gist of this but what does that really mean. My teacher once told me he stared at a tree trying to see that it wasn't there. He probably didn't say it exactly like that but the irony isn't lost on me. If I could think in just the spiritual realm without any thought for the sensual/physical realm, I understand I would be a different person. I can do it for a time but to do it always -- not even close. Some thing I'm working on.

The next thing I marked was:

Ideas are tangible and real to immortal consciousness, and they have the advantage of being eternal. 

This struck closer to home because ideas are my core business as an adult professional. But are ideas tangible? What would the spiritual sense of touch be? Or is spiritual touch one of those ideas that has a figurative meaning but not a literal?

And then what about immortal consciousness? Is that me or is that God? Or is it a we thing?

At this point in my life, I understand spiritual sense as an idea over there far away from me but somewhere I want to get to. Ideas however are closer to home and more concrete to me (if ideas can be concrete - maybe that's how they are tangible). Any way, this chapter is getting deep and to the point where I'm feeling a bit lost.

I should mark this as the point where I need to return for further study.

Day 142: Like produces like

276:1-277:32

You can probably tell one of the phrases I underlined based on the title. Also:

Nothing we can say or believe regarding matter is immortal, for matter is temporal and is therefore a mortal phenomenon, a human concept, sometimes beautiful, always erroneous. 

So here is what today's reading stirred up in my head, based on year-to-date reading:

There is only one God. Man was created spiritually by this one God. God and his spiritual reflection, man, can only produce like -- spiritual reflections of God. 

An epiphany to me.